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You And I Are Like Rain-Proofing On A Wooden Deck. Finished.

I don't know if love is the right word anymore, but I really, really like Saturday Night Live. Maybe even, you know, more than a friend. The nineties were when it really started for me, as Sandler, Farley, Myers, Hartman and the rest solidified my long-term commitment to the show, for better or worse, till death do us part. And if you've watched as much SNL as I have, you know that something happens at about the forty-minute mark (maybe after Weekend Update) of the show. Things generally get pretty f--king weird.

They Came Together, starring SNL alum Amy Poehler and show-regular Paul Rudd, is the film embodiment of that stretch where SNL transitions from somewhat straightforward comedy to batshit absurdity. Being that this one comes to us from director David Wain that may not surprise you, but it also may not interest you, either.

From the outset, They Came Together looks to take the piss out of the entire romantic comedy genre. Loosely based on You've Got Mail, this flick tells the familiar tale of two seemingly opposite New Yorkers (of course), who, despite their overwhelming (-ly cliched) differences, end up falling in love. Aww. While that setup would be a kick in the sack of originality in any other movie, here it's the perfect setup for satire. Very bizarre satire.

If you often find that an endless amount of thoroughly random jokes (delivered by an endless amount of thoroughly random actors) is your cup of tea, trust me, you'll have a blast with this one. But if you're looking for something a little more straightforward to watch with your better half, best to keep it moving.

For me, however, I found myself oddly compelled. Few movies have had me afraid that I was going to actually piss my pants from laughing so hard yet minutes later terrified for the careers of everyone involved.  Poehler and Rudd are currently untouchable (and rightfully so, as I love both of them [but Rudd waaaaaaaaaaay more]), but if their ship ever sinks this film may have been the first crack in the hull. Take all of this with a grain of salt though, as I was one of the few people who didn't love review], despite having a decades long boner for all things The State. I will say that I liked this one more than Summer if that means anything. But clearly, like this blog as a whole, it doesn't.

Also void of meaning, are the Yays and Boos. They don't mind though, because each one them has a really sweet rack. They'll be just fine, thank you very much.


Is it weird that I wish that was me? Um, on the right...
Yaaaaaaaaaay!
  • The basketball scene, reminiscent of Along Came Polly, was awesome. Even if it made me miss Phillip Seymour Hoffman even more.
  • Dick or Treat. They made me choose between their dicks or a treat.
  • Chris Meloni shits his Halloween costume, which honestly isn't even that funny. But...a teacher I work with, had just told me a very similar story so it gets a Yay regardless. (the guy shit his pants at someone's house and took a shower as cover).
  • There's a bit where they are just begging to share that elusive first kiss, but Aunt Flo ruins the whole thing. Literally, of course, as Aunt Flo is standing two feet away, surly as ever.
  • Okay, that was some sweet Pokemon banter from Rudd. 
  • The moment Rudd's character realizes his name f--king killed me. 
  • As did Hader's reaction to the term pussy hole.
  • Ed Helms plays the guy that is totally wrong for her, but somehow just about marries her. You know, That Guy. Anyway, his reaction to fiction is truly the stuff of comedic legend. 
  • Man, Rudd's grandma has just about the nicest ass I've ever seen (though holy shit was that scene weird!).
  • And finally, there were two scenes, entirely too long the both of them, that just about made me cry. The first is a simple exchange between Rudd and a bartender. The second? Well, it's got my vote for best sex scene this side of MacGruber.

Boooooooo!
  • Ken Marino. Oh, not that he's here, just that that's all we get? Lame.
  • Rudd tells his girl he loves her. Her response? And I love your spirit.
  • Michael Ian Black's character basically sucked. Unacceptable!
  • The boss who has a pole in his ass. Uh huh, you guessed it. He literally has a pole in his ass. Now if only he would jam that pole through my brain.
  • Does Norah Jones only appear in f--ked up comedies? And what the Hell is Uncle Jesse doing here, too?
  • And speaking of random small-screen celebs...that one reveal was so f--king strange. I mean, even in the context of this movie, that shit was weird.
  • Jeffrey Dean Morgan makes an appearance. This infuriates me, because I always think he's someone else, and I'm never sure who.
  • And finally, you know, in a movie like this, there's going to be a lot of jokes that miss. Some of these shots though, simply never should have been taken.
Wouldn't you know it, but SNL is starting in ten minutes. I think it's the last repeat before the new season premieres. I was hoping Paul Rudd would be the host for the first episode of season 40 (goodness!), but it looks like it's going to be Chris Pratt. That makes sense, I mean, he was in the biggest/most totally straightforward comedy of 2014. 

If only I could find my review of it. 

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