Staying at home with my young daughter is great. And tough. Mostly great, but tough too. She's ten months old and, unlike any other woman on this planet, demands my presence at all times. If I stand up, even just for fun, she's furious. How dare you abandon me? her tiny face says, before it contorts into a human air-raid siren. The whole thing, while incredible, can be frustrating, exhausting and at times, rather lonely. So when I happened to go the movies with my wife (a small miracle), it meant everything to see someone going through the same thing. I saw myself in their victories, saw myself in their joy. But I also saw myself in their desperation and frustration, too. Yes, friends, I saw myself in Rose Byrne.
Neighbors, without a doubt, will be the best time I have at the movies all summer, perhaps even all year. Sitting in auditorium 7 with my wife and a half-dozen other people, I saw all the highs and lows of being a parent to a little one, played out in hilarious fashion. For most of you, rightfully so, the whole parent-thing is only a tiny portion of the flick, but trust me, it provides the right level of desperation for all the ridiculous things that occur. Things might go too far, sure. But when someone f--ks with your baby's sleep, all bets are off. I mean, I once thought about killing some Jehovah's Witnesses for waking up the baby with their relentless pounding on our door. It's true.
Nah, I'm just kidding.
I've thought about it way more than once.
Anyway, if you missed the preview, Neighbors is about a young couple living in what was an idyllic neighborhood, that is until a frat moves in next door. Initially, things are cool as our couple Seth Rogen and the lovely Rose Byrne make peace, appearing to be cool older people. They think that if these college kids see that they're cool, they'll totally listen when they say keep it down. And for a minute or two, this arrangement works. But then Rogen does what he says he would never do. He calls the cops.
I could (and just might) post everyday for the rest oftime this week about my adoration of Rose Byrne here, but to be fair, everyone delivers. Somehow, in a silly movie about two grown ups battling a fraternity next door, we get not only a bunch of great characters, but we also get the perfect amount of backstory and motivation for each. What could have been a bunch of bullshit cliches, turns out to be something much more memorable, not to mention routinely hysterical.
Zac Effron's Teddy could have been your typical Dumb Jock, but he ends up being a little more nuanced than that. He's actually a pretty sweet guy. Dave Franco plays Teddy's right-hand man, Pete, and while the role screams Sidekick Guy, Franco and the writers create a dude we end up caring about. Hell, even the couple's best friend, the initially out-of-place Jimmy (a f--king awesome Ike Barinholtz), turns Awkward Friend into something special. And Rogen, well...Rogen kind of does the thing he always does, which I'm a fan of, but surrounded by everyone I just mentioned, it's seems like his potentially tired shtick is elevated. But let me be clear, the star of this movie is Byrne. She is hands down the best thing about this movie, in all facets. Even if her breasts look like your grandmother's legs.
Enjoying breasts of all types, are the Yays and Boos. Did we ever tell you about the first boobs we ever saw? Well, let's just say they weren't our grandmother's...but definitely someone else's. I was looking for the bathroom! Promise.
Wouldn't want to have to milk anyone, you know?
Nah, I'm just kidding.
I've thought about it way more than once.
Anyway, if you missed the preview, Neighbors is about a young couple living in what was an idyllic neighborhood, that is until a frat moves in next door. Initially, things are cool as our couple Seth Rogen and the lovely Rose Byrne make peace, appearing to be cool older people. They think that if these college kids see that they're cool, they'll totally listen when they say keep it down. And for a minute or two, this arrangement works. But then Rogen does what he says he would never do. He calls the cops.
I could (and just might) post everyday for the rest of
Zac Effron's Teddy could have been your typical Dumb Jock, but he ends up being a little more nuanced than that. He's actually a pretty sweet guy. Dave Franco plays Teddy's right-hand man, Pete, and while the role screams Sidekick Guy, Franco and the writers create a dude we end up caring about. Hell, even the couple's best friend, the initially out-of-place Jimmy (a f--king awesome Ike Barinholtz), turns Awkward Friend into something special. And Rogen, well...Rogen kind of does the thing he always does, which I'm a fan of, but surrounded by everyone I just mentioned, it's seems like his potentially tired shtick is elevated. But let me be clear, the star of this movie is Byrne. She is hands down the best thing about this movie, in all facets. Even if her breasts look like your grandmother's legs.
Enjoying breasts of all types, are the Yays and Boos. Did we ever tell you about the first boobs we ever saw? Well, let's just say they weren't our grandmother's...but definitely someone else's. I was looking for the bathroom! Promise.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAaaay!
- I'm taking you to BonerTown, love.
- Man, that baby (well, those babies) were adorable.
- Jimmy's reference to the joint file they had to complete for the THC corporation.
- It's only slightly overdone, but the scene where they get ready to take the baby to its first rave depicts what it's like when we leave our house every single time.
- One of my favorite scenes? Keep it down.
- The history-making things the frat did was pretty sweet. I didn't recognize the last guy (the Boot and Rally), but seeing The Lonely Island guys and the Workaholics back-to-back was f--king great.
- Dude. Pete's erection skills are unmatched. And the ultimate weapon in a Bro Off, it seems.
- I usually use something else as my barometer to judge how old I am/how young you are, but the Batman thing was awesome. When I think Batman, I think Keaton, too.
- Ah, bush removal. And the airbag search.
- Dean. I thought that was her name.
- God, do I always love a good dance off.
- John Madden before...Jasmine from Aladdin.
- Assjuice's comeback: Uh uh. I wasn't asleep.
- Jimmy.
- His impressions were insane. I think I almost peed myself with his Obama sign-off.
- His leg. It still makes me laugh.
- Maybe the cutest credits ever.
- And finally, the aforementioned Rose Byrne. She is really funny in almost every scene, but there are a few classics.
- What she does with the fireworks? Oh shit!
- The condom. I actually cried during that one.
- Equal parts incredibly sexy and badass, when she gets Pete to put hos before bros, I knew it was love. When she turns and walks away from them knowing it's mission accomplished? I think a little part of me died. And went to heaven.
- But, what you'll likely be talking about the next day, the milking scene. THEY'RE HULKING OUT!
Booooooo!
- The only real weak link, is Jimmy's ex-wife, played Carla Gallo. She's actually okay, too, just not to the level of everyone else.
- Dude. McLovin's dick? That f--ker scared me. It looked like one the monsters from Tremors.
- Oh, and poor Garf. You gotta read your e-mails more carefully, dude.
- Was that cop guy the worst actor ever? We should have had Hader!
- Assjuice. This guy is a real shitbag. No way I'd sell out the promise of infinite bjs for a grand.
- Wait a sec. We get to see Byrne's fake tits, but Rogen's real ones?
- And finally, Zac Effron. Damn, dude. You might be the prettiest man I have ever seen in my life.
Wouldn't want to have to milk anyone, you know?