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Did He Know It Was Your Birthday? I Mean, He's The Director, He's Kinda Busy.

Well, well.

Turns out tonight is the second birthday for ol' . I know, it seems like just yesterday that the internet somehow got worse, but trust me, it's been two whole years. Initially, I wanted this site to exist as a weird time capsule for my then one-year old son. But, 250+ posts later, things have spiraled out of control and descended into a land of typos and depravity. Mostly depravity. Hopefully.

This post, like the rest of them, is dedicated to the handful of loyal readers I've been lucky enough to earn over the years (notice the s). Without their comments and support, I likely would have shut this mess down and cried myself to sleep (well, more often than usual, anyway). For them, I want to say thanks. Hopefully, at least once or twice, you've read something on here that made you smile and think, Wow. That guy is really handsome.

In what has become an annual tradition, let's look at some stats for the year. I watched (and reviewed, in the loosest sense) 113 movies, 44 of which I saw theatrically. I never omitted a single film, because good, bad, or horribly shitty, I'll write about anything. Family flicks likely dominated, with 17 notched for the year. Though that could be 18, as I'm not sure what classification Nude 4 Satan gets.

And despite still really hating lists (well, creating them), I'm going to bump the Top and Bottom 10 to an overstuffed baker's dozen this year. Tonight, it goes something like this:

Top 13
  1. Moonrise Kingdom - I saw this charming film with my Dad.
  2. Killer Joe - A jawaban 20 minutes unlike anything you'd expect.
  3. Cloud Atlas - Hated by many, I was awed by its ambition.
  4. The Artist - A beautiful film. Wish I'd seen it theatrically.
  5. Flight - More intense? The plane crash or Denzel?
  6. Django Unchained - Should be higher, but still loved it.
  7. Lincoln - The greatest man, played by the greatest actor.
  8. Life of Pi - Breathtaking. The ending broke my heart.
  9. Skyfall - Easily my favorite Bond film ever.
  10. Wreck-It Ralph - Pixar does it again. Reilly was perfect!
  11. Silver Linings Playbook - Loved both leads. And De Niro.
  12. Warm Bodies - Turns out, I'm a 14 year old girl.
  13. Gymkata - Horrible in the best possible way.

Bottom 13
  1. AntiChrist - My TV exploded. Literally. And that wasn't the worst thing that happened. Not even close.
  2. Stewardess School - Failed in every way possible.
  3. What to Expect When You're Expecting - Expect awful.
  4. The Human Centipede - Actual ass-to-mouth would be less excruciating than watching this start to finish.
  5. Trouble with the Curve - And every other pitch, too.
  6. G.I Joe: Retaliation - Channing Tatum was lucky. 
  7. Piranha 3DD - Truthfully, I was dealing with West Nile Virus. Turns out, that was the fun part.
  8. Dirty Movie - I used to like jokes. Used to.
  9. Hobo With a Shotgun - Surprise! It's not good.
  10. Escape from Planet Earth - This family movie almost made me wish I was single.
  11. The Vow - Infinitely worse than major head trauma.
  12. My Name is Bruce - And his movie is terrible.
  13. The Collection - I still can't believe I saw this. Theatrically.
With all my adoration and appreciation:

Sati @ cinematiccorner. Not only does she have a beautiful, witty, and well-written site, but she routinely risks credibility and suggests people come here. She's the best.
Steph @ On Page and Screen Impossibly nice and all kinds of smart, Steph is a comment machine. Bonus points for the fact that we're both teachers. On her site, you can actually learn something.
Shane @ Film Rehab This guy is a funny dude. A family man like myself, Shane runs a very cool site. One day, we'll join forces. I'm sure of it.

Insane respect and gratitude to these fine individuals as well, Ty @ Comeuppance Reviews (incredibly badass), Dan @dtmmr (incredibly prolific), Brittani Burnham @ Rambling Film (incredibly witty), Alex @ And So it Begins...(incredibly professional), the Ladies @ French Toast Sunday (incredibly incredible) and the recently resurrected M. Hufstader @ The Smoking Pen (incredibly awesome). I quietly worship all of you.

To my tangible family and friends: You guys are the best. Though I dare you to comment. No, wait.

I double dare you.

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