As I've mentioned countless times, my actual job, allegedly, is teacher. Every day I go to war with middle school kids and try to convince them of the importance of words and reading. And every day, someone says that reading is doing too much. Though they probably use to because they don't read enough to know the difference between the two. They just want to go on the computers or iPads and play games and take pictures of themselves. Very few really buy what I'm selling. Higher ups say that we've got to change the way we teach, that traditional ways just aren't good enough anymore. We need to make everything a project, an experience, that resonates with the kids. Times have changed they say. Once, I was even told don't teach them anything they could simply Google.
I don't know what industry you're in, but chances are, in the name of profits and bottom lines, it is becoming less about people and more about machines and technology. I feel your pain. So does Bond. James Bond.
Before I really get started, let me admit it right now: I'm not a big Bond guy. At all. Yet despite that, I had a blast with the latest entry, Sam Mendes' kickass Skyfall.
The story is pretty straightforward. Bond must get back a stolen hard drive that contains the identity of numerous embedded agents. Naturally, an exceedingly badass chase ensues and Bond recovers it rather easily. He nails some hot broad with a groovy accent aaand...credits.
No, wait. That's not it. Bond dies and the hard drive finds its way into the wrong hands, thereby putting dozens of lives in peril. Eh, close enough.
Further detailing the plot would ruin the fun, but it's safe to say that Skyfall has a few cool tricks up its sleeve, despite still delivering all the hallmarks of the fifty-year old franchise. Hot chick? Check. Sweet cars? Most definitely. People represented by the cooler letters of the alphabet? You bet. Creepy villain? Um, how about the creepiest? But my personal favorite? An aging and vulnerable 007. That, perhaps surprisingly, was what really sealed it for me. Somehow, even if just barely, I could really relate to a guy holding on to the way things were. At the end of the day, sometimes you have to forego technology altogether, roll your sleeves up, and get your hands dirty. For Bond, that means literally kicking ass. Same goes for me. Just replace ass with books. And kicking with reading.
This seems like a fine place to check in with the Yays and Boos. They should have been doing their homework, but I caught them watching On Her Majesty's Secret Service again. Big Lazenby guys, those two. Big spoilers, too.
I know, what a waste of time, right? I mean, I could just Google it.
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| I love Daniel Craig so much I actually hate him. Handsome, charming bastard. |
Before I really get started, let me admit it right now: I'm not a big Bond guy. At all. Yet despite that, I had a blast with the latest entry, Sam Mendes' kickass Skyfall.
The story is pretty straightforward. Bond must get back a stolen hard drive that contains the identity of numerous embedded agents. Naturally, an exceedingly badass chase ensues and Bond recovers it rather easily. He nails some hot broad with a groovy accent aaand...credits.
No, wait. That's not it. Bond dies and the hard drive finds its way into the wrong hands, thereby putting dozens of lives in peril. Eh, close enough.
Further detailing the plot would ruin the fun, but it's safe to say that Skyfall has a few cool tricks up its sleeve, despite still delivering all the hallmarks of the fifty-year old franchise. Hot chick? Check. Sweet cars? Most definitely. People represented by the cooler letters of the alphabet? You bet. Creepy villain? Um, how about the creepiest? But my personal favorite? An aging and vulnerable 007. That, perhaps surprisingly, was what really sealed it for me. Somehow, even if just barely, I could really relate to a guy holding on to the way things were. At the end of the day, sometimes you have to forego technology altogether, roll your sleeves up, and get your hands dirty. For Bond, that means literally kicking ass. Same goes for me. Just replace ass with books. And kicking with reading.
This seems like a fine place to check in with the Yays and Boos. They should have been doing their homework, but I caught them watching On Her Majesty's Secret Service again. Big Lazenby guys, those two. Big spoilers, too.
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| Too much clothes + not enough screen time = my sadness |
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
- Daniel Craig is my favorite Bond ever. Yeah, I said it. So dreamy...
- Well, now I've officially seen the best way to board a train ever.
- I've always loved a good rooftop motorcycle chase. Always.
- I liked the opening number a lot, as well. I've found some of them cheesy and goofy, but this one was slick.
- The new Q. Very charming young man. Though, he's on the verge of having too much hair to properly function (honestly surprised he doesn't just fall right over).
- The elevator grab was pretty smooth. Not sure that was the smartest move ever, but I liked it.
- New Mortal Kombat level proposal: Komodo Dragon Pit Battle Arena. Finish Him!
- Bond the environmentalist: Saving water, one shower at a time.
- Speaking of, Ms. Marlohe? Oh, girl. You fine.
- Javier Bardem creates a fascinating villain. Everything about him is charmingly creepy. You know, the ol' Nice guy, and all. But...weird as shit. Loved his crazy-ass rat story.
- I debated on including this in the Yays, but was anybody else reminded of Home Alone toward the end? Just for a second, I thought the Wet Bandits were the ones descending upon Skyfall.
- The only thing better than Albert Finney? Is Albert Finney...with a great, big, bushy beard!!
- And finally, I loved how everything was tied together at the end. It all came together quite nicely.
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| Pick any aspect of this scene. Awkward, right? Even the background. |
Boooooooooo!
- So, you're trying to shoot a guy on a moving train and you inadvertently hit your friend. Hmm. That sucks. But...might as well take another shot. You know, while you're there.
- Well, thanks a lot movies. Now, I refuse to drink anything unless a deadly scorpion is inches from my face.
- Wolf Blitzer has a SAG card? What the shit is this?
- Alright M. You's a cold bitch - that's fine. But you can't let ol' Jimmy crash at your place even for one night? Hardcore, M. Hardcore.
- Mallory to M. He's lost a step. Perhaps you can't see it. Dude, that's pretty f--ked up. She can't help it. [Okay, even I thought that was rude.]
- Why did JB wait on the assassination attempt in Asian Glass Tower? If that was my head that was blown off, needless to say I'd be pretty upset with 007.
- Orphans always made the best recruits. Poor little guys. Can't even go see a Bond flick without leaving the theater in tears. Way to go, M.
- Silva literally creates the most intricate plan ever. I mean, this guy is throwing subway cars at people. But all this preparation climaxes in messy, public shootout? Hmm. About that...
- Are all old Scottish mansions built out of purely explosive materials? Goodness.
- And finally, this sucker was an epic. I know we have a 50-point checklist of obligations, but could keeping it under two hours be one of them?
I know, what a waste of time, right? I mean, I could just Google it.