This Is The First Time In My Life I've Identified With A Tire.

I needed you tonight. Really, I did. Wherever you are, hell, whoever you are, if you're reading these words - I needed you. I just watc...

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How Many More Like You Are There?

Surprisingly, I've never been punched in the face. Nope. I've also never jumped from an overpass onto a moving trailer. And I reall...

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Hello, My Old Friends.

There's a lot of sayings I hate, but number one on the list? No regrets. I hate a-holes who swear that when they look back on their lif...

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I Can't Believe I Fell For Muppet Man!

Some characters from our childhoods deserve to fade into obscurity. Heathcliff , the Gummi Bears and Richie Rich are three that were eithe...

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You Could Have Had The Decency To Lie About That One.

I'm not really from anywhere. It's terribly unfortunate, but it's true. I was born in Texas, moved to Hawai'i when I was eig...

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This Is The Pulse.

As a lifelong moviegoer, I've probably seen a thousand action movies. Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Willis were the icons of my day, with...

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What Means, Doom And Gloom?

If you met a famous actor, what would you do? Would you ask him for an autograph? A picture, maybe? For the most part, I think I'd just ...

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I Said Shut Up Once Already With My Mouth.

Katniss Everdeen is a huge bitch. Yeah , I said it. Ooh, she's got to compete in some fancy games with a dreamy baker that she may or ma...

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Slam Dunks Feel Good.

When you were a kid, did you find yourself lamenting the fact that there's nothing to do around here? I don't think I was douchey ...

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None Of You Will Do Anything, Except Live The Life That Has Already Been Set Out For You.

If you've read a couple of my reviews, you can see that I usually have a built-in out . If I've watched something that I really enjo...

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I'm Going To Bed, Where Hopefully, I've Been All Along.

As a parent who genuinely loves movies, I find children's movies equal parts fascinating and frustrating. Many of the major releases tak...

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I Wasn't There, Even When I Was.

That's more like it! After suffering through the glittery boas of the glam rock era, it turns out that greatness in the music-film genre...

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