It's No Slurpee.

Dude, that's what you get for going outside.

Could I have survived that? What would I have done? Those two questions are what I asked myself over and over again while watching last night's film, 127 Hours. By the way, the answers are No way in Hell and Died a lonely death, in case you were curious.

James Franco is an amazing actor. If anyone ever questions him, ever, they simply need to watch this film. I know he kind of goes all Hayden Christensen-wooden at times (see: Spiderman trilogy), but the Oscar nomination is completely earned here (Colin Firth won it). Not that you ever get a chance to, but you can't take your eyes off him. Riveting. The conversation/interview he has with himself is brilliant (so is the editing).

Why all the Franco love? Well, this movie is like a small-scale Castaway. Besides the chance encounter with the girls and occasional flashback, this one is all Franco, all day. If you don't like the guy, you should keep your distance. Though really, this is the film that'll sway you. Or Pineapple Express. He owns in both.

Scooby-Doo, where are you?

The other star of this movie is one of my top five directors, Danny Boyle [The rest of the list in no particular order is Fincher, Abrams, Tarantino, Scorsese, and the Coens]. Oh, that's six? Whatever. Boyle has made some of my favorite movies in the last 10 years or so and this is another stylish, outstanding effort. The pace, the visuals and the energy that this film exudes are all top-notch. Considering we're trapped with Franco for 94 minutes (he gets stuck 17 minutes in), this film flies by.

If you don't know the ending, or haven't figured it out - you might want to stop reading. You also might want to lay off the ganj, because you're kind of an idiot. This is based on a true story, so um, he kinda has to survive. The drama is still there, but it isn't too shocking. Well...

I'm still alive, only I'm very badly burned

Hold up. There are a couple of moments that even if you're told about them, will floor you. First and foremost, the arm. You know it's coming (especially if you can do division), but it's insane. I shudder even thinking about it. My wife missed about seven whole minutes because she couldn't handle it. How someone who has had an entire person exit their body can get squeamish during a movie is beyond me. Though to be fair, I was in the room and actually saw my son being born and I still was pretty grossed out by the arm-severing. Hmm.



The last thing I want to mention is that compared to Aron, I am essentially a drool-covered buffoon. This guy keeps topping himself with smart move after smart move (granted, they all come after the initial series of dumb ones). When he tied his knife to himself, I was thinking: that's smart. When he lays out all of his items Apollo 13 style, I thought: makes sense, solid move, bro. When he created a pulley system in an attempt to move the rock, I said to myself: he's the smartest man alive. And when he starts to bottle his own urine, I thought: gross, but I would've never thought of it. But when he finds the one frame on his camcorder that shows sweet cleavage and stares at it longingly, I thought: well no shit, you should have been on that hours ago!

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