Slam Your Doors In Golden Silence!

Well, I decided to end the year with quite possibly the most baffling movie I've ever seen, 1967's Play Time . I do consider myself...

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That's It. Next Time I Get To Seduce The Rich Guy.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to explain to me why everyone likes this movie. Your explanation should be overly long a...

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What's The Dress Code For The End Of The World?

I wish the power had gone out in the theater. I had a plan. My sister and I were going to double-feature it tonight. First up, was The ...

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I Never Thought I'd Say This, But I'm Glad I'm Not Hung Like A Bear.

You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. My sister is in town and we decided to watch one...

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What Happens If I Say No?

Do you think his shower is golden, too? When I was six or seven years old I played on a soccer team. We were the Pirates. We had orange...

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Great Snakes!

Damn . I went to the movies tonight. An opening-night, theatrical showing in eye-popping 3D, no less. That's good news, right? Well, it ...

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You Know, He's Just A Little Boy. Little Boys Fight. Doesn't Mean He's Going To Grow Up To Be A Frat-Boy Rapist.

Do people still wear Crocs? I really like Paul Rudd. I think the guy epitomizes understated brilliance. Tonight's flick, Our Idiot Br...

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I. Deserve. To Die.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Nic Cage, Nicole Kidman and even director Joel Schumacher have all been at some time in their careers relati...

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Azreal? Are You Dead?

If you dare scroll down and look at the movies I've been watching lately, you might think that I really like either a) torturing myself...

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When This Is Over...So Are You.

Parkour, you lied to me. When you were in those Nike commercials? You were cool. District B13 ? I had a good time - thought we were frie...

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It's Going To Be Very Hard To Unsee That.

I hate this so much I actually love it. Even if you already have, look at that poster over there. I mean really look at it. Holy shit, ...

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Pies For Everybody. Everybody. Everybody Gets Pies.

Of all the things to hate in this world, some people have seemed to settle on Tom Cruise. I don't get it. It's cool if you don'...

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What Would You Do If You Knew You Only Had One Minute To Live?

This past February, Adam Sandler and his crew released a film called Just Go With It [ review ]. Two months later another movie came out t...

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What Do You Think I Have Down There? A Gnome?

And she's got the most incredible body too... It's weird. Watching high school movies now doesn't necessarily remind me of ...

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It's No Slurpee.

Dude, that's what you get for going outside. Could I have survived that? What would I have done? Those two questions are what I as...

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