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Best this month
I Told You, My Man Brad Just Crushes Ass.
Mike Judge gets a pass. No matter what. Not even counting his legendary television work, the man behind Office Space gets the benefit of th...
On A Scale Of One To Ten, You Are An Eleven.
It was a square room. I got there first, and I took the back left corner, quickly affixing my Trainspotting poster to the wall, next to the...
Ebert Wouldn't Wipe His Crack With This Trash.
I used to wait tables on a beach in Hawai'i. As anyone who has worked in a fancy (ish) hotel can attest - you see your fair share of ce...
Same Play! Same Hole!
Based on a true story. When it comes to my movie-going experiences, these five words have always bothered me. Today's film, The Express ...
And That Is Why I'll Always Love You.
If I remember correctly, we were coming back from a Red Sox game. A crushing defeat to the Twins as I recall, the Sox falling apart in the ...
How Many Good Guys Are Left?
Two weeks ago, I took my son Matthew to an opening-night movie with me. I was a little nervous about the whole thing, only because he's...
That's Such A Boromir Thing To Say.
Her name was Bri. It was early in my teaching career, and yet again, I was dying a slow death in the front of the room. I don't remem...
Please, God. Pull The Trigger.
Some actors rise to a level of notoriety that essentially works against them. When we talk of the character, we refer to the actor ( Tom Cr...
You're Only Technically Black.
Indian. Mexican. Spanish. Jewish. Muslim. Italian. Hell, even Hawaiian if you can believe it. Pick any of the above, and I have been lab...
For A Special Agent, You're Not Having A Very Special Day, Are You?
I feel stupid for doing it in the first place, but I feel even worse for feeling stupid about it . But when I was in college, I remember th...
Best this week
I Told You, My Man Brad Just Crushes Ass.
Mike Judge gets a pass. No matter what. Not even counting his legendary television work, the man behind Office Space gets the benefit of th...
He's A Notorious Troublemaker, My Lady.
Twenty-four hours from now, I'll have seen Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice . And while the early reviews aren't exactly favorabl...
If I Don't Get This Back...Your Ass Is Terminated.
Very rarely do I appreciate that I'm in my thirties. But looking around at things now, as old bastards generally do, I think thank God ...
Hey Anna, Could You Get The Phone?
In middle school, I was in love with this girl named Heather. She had short, really-light blonde hair and exceptionally blue eyes. I loved h...
I Can't Feel Anything. I Can't Feel Anything!
When my lesson would end early, there would be instances where the only thing I could do was allow the dreaded free time. One afternoon, mi...
I Had A Dream Last Night. That You Were Dead.
The privacy fence out back with the missing strips. The bedroom light that still doesn't have a fixture. That bare spot in the top co...
Same Play! Same Hole!
Based on a true story. When it comes to my movie-going experiences, these five words have always bothered me. Today's film, The Express ...
We Do What We Do. And We Do It Together.
My father is a chef. An egotistical a-hole chef, that considers himself a God in the kitchen, alienating countless people along the way, ty...
That's Such A Boromir Thing To Say.
Her name was Bri. It was early in my teaching career, and yet again, I was dying a slow death in the front of the room. I don't remem...
We Will Conquer This Wilderness. It Will Not Consume Us.
There are some moments only the forest can inspire. These are the words the breathy narrator utters about half-way through a radio commer...