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He's Happy To See Me. Every Time. Every Day.

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I'm a fairly nice guy, not physically imposing in any way. The only thing scary about me? Probably how handsome I am. And that I occasi...
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You Can Hit Me If You Want. But Leave The Flower Alone.

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I'm not a fighter. Got kicked around by my older brothers a bunch when I was little, had a few minor altercations (with friends, mos...
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I'm A Fan, By The Way.

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Seventeen years as the same amazing character. Seventeen years of routinely delivering the most bankable performance in a gigantic movie f...
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I'm Just A Backup.

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If you don't have kids, in a way, I totally envy you. You and all your disposable income are bound by nothing. You can come and go as y...
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I'm Not That Guy Anymore.

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If you broke into my house and beat the shit out of me, that would be pretty f--king uncool. As long as it was just me, we might have to ha...
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