Pretty much looks like my wedding night. Question: Which Hollywood Action Heroine could seriously kick my ass? All of them , sure, but fo...
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In My Bottom?
Here was my plan. I was going to take an old post, maybe even one that was pretty funny, and just tweak a few things here and there. I'd...
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First Lady, I'm Sorry I Pimp-Slapped You Into That China Cabinet.
Well, it turns out that I'm not black . I know, I know, you're shocked . I only mention race because last night's badass flick, ...
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When The American Planes Come...The Creatures...Very Mad.
Imagine you're trying to decide on a movie to watch and you come across a movie called Explosions . On the back of the box it says, ...
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I'm Sure Ringling Has Its Own Vet.
My wife and I watched Water for Elephants today. One shot. Start-to-finish. That may not seem like much to you, but as parents of a two and...
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I'm Being Punished For Something. I Know It.
I probably need to start drinking. Maybe even fire up some hard drugs. Other than verbally destroying it with friends, these are quite possi...
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Lie Still. I’Ve Never Done This Before. And There Will Be Blood.
When I first saw the incredible trailer for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo I felt powerless against it. It will be mine. Oh yes. It will ...
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I Just Missed Your Heart.
Not long ago my dad helped me paint the kitchen in my house. We each started on opposite sides and within a couple of minutes he was standin...
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Let Me Tell You, All Women, Ulimately Are Evil.
I've been together with my wife for over eleven years. Dating, jealousy, taking the next step and things of that nature are distant mem...
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Sydney Briar Is Alive.
If I invited you to my house and told you we were going to watch a zombie flick, you'd have certain expectations, wouldn't you? No, ...
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After College I Was Really Into Cargo Pants!
Friends with benefits. I had never heard of this concept until I got to college. Maybe the vernacular didn't make it to Hawai'i, or...
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To Me, It Was A Hotel Room.
You know what? You should get naked. Yep. Take everything off. Then, if you can swing it, cover yourself in Vaseline, or better yet, paint. ...
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I Don't Know Whether To Help You Or Euthanize You.
Thank you, I just had it stuffed. I don't really remember anything specific about being an eighth grader. I remember the girl I had a...
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The Hardcore Can't Understand.
How do you follow up a forty-five year old French film? With pandas. Lots of pandas. Kung Fu Panda 2 surprised me. It starts off with th...
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