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Best this month
I Will Dance With The Golden Toad.
Maybe this is a guy thing, but probably a dozen times in my life, I've found myself trapped in a certain conversation that makes me wan...
Hi. Can I Take Your Order?
Just do it. Three simple words made famous by Nike, but more or the less the mantra of authority across the world. From bosses to parents...
It's Always A Little Pinchy In The Gooey Bag At First.
Austin Powers. Spider Man. Captain Jack Sparrow. All of the X-Men. Whoever the Hell Brendan Frasier played in The Mummy . The list goes on....
Tom Brady Could Do That.
I fill up my DVR with all kinds of stuff. Mostly current movies that I didn't see in the theater, but occasionally I grab random stuff ...
Sometimes, I Think I Might Be Unlovable.
Like a poorly-wrapped Christmas present, you totally know what you're going to get when you visit . For over six years now, this blog...
I Can't Feel Anything. I Can't Feel Anything!
When my lesson would end early, there would be instances where the only thing I could do was allow the dreaded free time. One afternoon, mi...
That's Such A Boromir Thing To Say.
Her name was Bri. It was early in my teaching career, and yet again, I was dying a slow death in the front of the room. I don't remem...
I Told You, My Man Brad Just Crushes Ass.
Mike Judge gets a pass. No matter what. Not even counting his legendary television work, the man behind Office Space gets the benefit of th...
You Know We're Going On A Special Trip, Don't You?
While I might be a tad cautious with actual currency , I tend to lose my f--king mind when given a gift card. Even the most trivial thing c...
No Man Can Walk Out Of His Own Story.
Every chance I get, I use self-checkout at the grocery store. It's usually much faster. Removing people from the equation makes the exp...
Best this week
Of Course They're Kooks. It's All Make-Believe.
It's safe to say that I'll never run a company that makes movies. But... but... I almost ran a company that shows movies. At least,...
Is Imagination Now A Felony?
My main man Wendell, over at Dell on Movies , is hosting a blogathon , with an idea rather groovy. It's all about poetry, so I thou...
I Need You To Put This In Your Bottom Hole.
Way back in the fall semester of 2000, I completed my college internship at a rock radio station in Connecticut. As much as I wanted to be ...
We Don't Have Time For Zingers.
Through work connections, I got hooked up with a complimentary room in the Back Bay Hilton. A nice one, too. It was Valentine's weekend...
Sir, Are You Ill?
Some of you smarter types might read a classic novel to better educate yourself, or perhaps to simply make you a more well-rounded individu...
Fact Is, I Hate All People Equally.
When I hear someone say that they hate cops I want to immediately punch them in the face. Repeatedly. Then I want to kick down their door ...
When Something Terrible Happens, What Does He Do? Fends For Himself, He Does.
I don't care what country you're from, in the streets, you gotta be careful, you know? All kinds of bad things can happen out there...
You Sure You Can Handle The Disappointment?
My brother Nikos is visiting and we were talking the other day about how you don't really have to know how do anything anymore, you s...
He Don't Like Strangers Peeing On Him.
This is going to be my selesai post. See, I have this idea for a movie, you guys, that's so good, I'm probably done working for f...
Just Leave Me To Do My Dark Bidding On The Internet.
It all started out so innocently. @AJemaineClement Just picked up #WhatWeDoInTheShadows to watch tonight. Don't think my wife w...